Observations From Barstool HQ - My First Week

As I start my second week on the job here at Barstool HQ and today I’m starting to do more and more. It’s a little surreal being here to be at HQ to be quite honest, just being at Barstool in general is a little jarring. At the moment I don’t have a desk so I’ve set up shop in the lounge area adjacent to the bar and kitchen. I have seen a lot in my short time here and I have taken some notes that I figured I’d share…

-Dave Portnoy holds no punches

On my first day I watched Dave Portnoy come down like the hammer of Thor on the Barstool Bets social media kid. Right before my very eyes. I was a little worried that I would somehow catch a ricochet shot so I kept my head down and tried not do anything out of the ordinary.

Not that I didn’t know this but Dave Portnoy is very intimidating and I do not want to wrong him.

-Dan “Big Cat” Katz, not fat

This is easily the biggest upset to me. Not that I was expecting to come in and see Big Cat’s love handles oozing over the side of his pants but I expected him to be a little chubby. Instead he’s more husky than anything and honestly, I couldn’t be more disappointed. Also his mustache is superb. 

Asked him if he liked the Jets -3 this against the Bills, he didn’t, nothing really came from the conversation.

-Marty Mush is certainly something….

Marty Mush. What a fucking character. Told him to take the Jets on Sunday and he was instantly rattled. He hasn’t confronted me about them not covering yet, he probably forgot so I think I’m in the clear.

Just seeing him interact with humans is a spectacle.

-Brandon Walker is a man of the people

Anytime I’ve seen him, he’s interacting with someone in some capacity. He’ll always come over and ask for picks because quite frankly I think he just enjoys the interaction with functioning humans.

Also, Mush and Brandon Walker keep trying to get a read on me but I always keep the people guessing.

-I love hearing Coley Mick’s laugh from a distance

That’s all on the matter.

-Around 4:30 on Wednesday, I was approached by the one and only Handsome Hank Lockwood (lovely fellow) to input the picks for the fantasy football stream.

I was instrumental to the process and without me I don’t think anything would’ve worked. I’m sure my “good pick” or “I don’t know about that one” quips were a big help to all team owners who most certainly took my opinion into account.

-KB is kind’ve a weirdo

After talking to him for a little bit on Friday, I didn’t know what to make of him. He kept giving me weird answers to questions and I’m convinced he has never blinked in his life. He’s a pretty weird guy if you ask me.

I think he likes me? But I can’t be too sure about that.

-Smitty…

Hardooooooooooo

-You can hear Stu Feiner from anywhere

He was only here one day but still. No matter if he’s all the way across the building, he’s always bringing the energy and quite frankly I love it.

I wonder if he’s like that all the time or just when he’s here.

-Spider is a grinder

Every time I see him, he’s working on something for someone. The guy doesn’t have an off switch, he’s full tilt, full time.

So with my first week in the books here at Barstool HQ, I’m excited to see what else I get to see around the office in the coming days with NFL football getting ready to shift into full gear.